Sleep: the (previously) undervalued merit of “resting your eyes”

Have you ever heard the expression “I slept like a baby”? People use it describe an amazing, deep sleep. Its all lies I tell you, lies! I don’t know what that person was on who first created this saying because babies do not sleep well. At least this one doesn’t. No person I know would want to sleep like Britanny, unless they wished to sacrifice all long term sleep and take periodic naps throughout the day. There is only one plus side to a baby: I haven’t used my alarm clock since before Britanny was born. So if you hate your alarm clock, get a screaming baby. Or borrow mine for the night. I’m sure we could work something out.

You know in soccer (or football or hockey, etc.) when you “fake out the competition”- you make them think your going one way and then you go the other? That’s what Britanny does every single time she needs to sleep. She lulls you into a false sense of security, thinking that she has finally gone to sleep- then WHAM her eyes flicker open and she gives you the evil smile. The general translation of this smile is as follows “ha ha, you think your I’m sleeping but in actuality I’m just playing you ”.  If you didn’t know what to look for, you would think she had gone to sleep. In reality Britanny is watching your every move, waiting for the right moment to scream. Or fart. Or pull your hair. Generally just anything that would prevent her from sleeping.

All in all it takes a miracle to get Britanny to sleep. So like I said, if you don’t need your alarm clock, I’ll gladly trade. But I’m sure I would get her back within the same day because, lets face it, who wants to spend two hours walking a baby to sleep for a 30 minute nap.